Why Your Toddler Hits

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

28 Feb 2009 09:36 PM

Whether your toddler regularly hits you or other children, the behavior can be quiet disconcerting. You may feel as though other parents see your child as a problem child. But the reality is that hitting is not an unusual behavior for many toddlers. And sometimes the usual discipline methods, such as time outs may not seem to work.

When a toddler hits, it is important to be consistent about the behavior not being acceptable. At the same time, it can be helpful when you understand some of the motivation behind the hitting behavior.

He may be curious about other people and their reactions. Hitting usually gets an immediate reaction, and even if it is a negative one, it may be very interesting.

He may have a change in routine that is bothering him. Some children don't take well to an upset in the normal flow of things, and the hitting may be a way of protesting or trying to call attention to the distress.

He may not realize that other people don't like to be hit. Toddlers may have a hard time seeing things from anyone else's perspective. He may not realize that the person being hit isn't enjoying it as much as he is.

He may be seeking attention. Hitting is usually a quick way of getting everyone's attention.

He may be trying to communicate. Frustration can often lead to hitting. Imagine that you really want something but have no way to get it yourself and no way of telling anyone that you need help.

He may be testing the limits of behavior. Of course there are times when bad behavior is just bad behavior. Your toddler may understand that hitting is not acceptable, but may be testing it out again just to be sure.

Have you had any experience with a toddler who hits? was it easy or difficult to break the behavior?

Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here or subscribe to the blog using the subscription box on the right.

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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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MaternityPregnancy (61) 03 Mar 2009 09:09 AM

Thanks for this article. My little one year old daughter has just started hitting and then laughing. She thinks it is so funny. It doesn't hurt so we all kind of laugh too. But, I am trying to teach her not to hit because it WILL eventually start hurting people. I am really going to work on on giving her the reaction anymore. We will just ignore it and maybe she will forget that it used to be funny...Maternity Pregnancy

Mary Ann Romans (26876) 08 Mar 2009 04:24 AM

I think you have got it right on the head. Positive reinforcement is such as powerful tool of discipline. Unfortunately, it can reinforce bad behavior, too. I knew a family who would laugh when their small child said a particular curse word. Of course, eventually it wasn't so funny to them any more and they had a hard time breaking the behavior.