When You Just Can't Breastfeedby Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger 14 Aug 2006 05:07 AM Women were designed to feed their babies through breast milk. I am absolutely a believer in breast milk being the best food for your baby. However, sometimes it just doesn't work out. For whatever reason, a mother can't make enough milk and has to start giving her baby formula, either exclusively or by supplementation. There are actually, very few mothers who physically are unable to make enough milk for their babies. However, as anyone who has breastfed will tell you, breastfeeding does need to be managed properly in order to maintain supply and this is where many mothers go awry and get themselves into a cycle that makes it difficult for them to produce enough milk. If you had your heart set on breastfeeding your baby, and then discover that all is not going as planned, you probably felt devastated. Adding to the problem is the medical profession who either makes you feel horrid for not breastfeeding, or is way too quick to point you to the formula. Understanding Mismanaged Medical Care for the Breastfeeding Mother If you have a breastfeeding relationship to salvage, try seeking out a good lactation consultant. Most supply issues are due to mismanagement and not seeking help early enough. This is not your fault. In my opinion, it is the fault of the medical profession. It should be that if you're in the hospital and your nipples are painful and cracked and bleeding, you should get to see a good lactation consultant right away. But I know at least here, that's not the case. Many women don't realize it's not supposed to hurt until it's already too painful to continue. If it's too late, you don't need to beat yourself up. Painful nipples make it incredibly difficult to care for an infant who is further making your nipples more painful! You can still bond with your baby by holding him while your bottle feeding him, wearing him in a sling or pouch, and playing. You will still bond just fine if you mommy your baby in all those other important ways and do what comes instinctively! Remember: You're Not a Bad Mother If you've read any of my blogs, you know that I am pro-breastfeeding. I'm about as pro-breastfeeding as they come. And yet, even I recognize that a mommy who bottle feeds is not a bad mommy. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty if you gave up breastfeeding. I know lots of moms that wanted to breastfeed and felt horribly guilty when it wasn't working out. But the reality is that being a mommy is a tough job. We all make the best judgment calls we can in a given situation. I'm sure if moms had nothing else to do but sit around and figure out how to make breastfeeding work more women would continue until their babies got it right. Unfortunately though, dinner doesn't make itself, the laundry doesn't do itself and if you have other children to add to the mix, they need care too. Trust in your instincts that you have made the best decision for your baby. Breast milk is the best food for your baby. No doubt about it. But if you can't breastfeed, if it's not working out, you can rest assured that you are still doing the best job that you possibly can. Go forward from there and don't dwell on what your body will or will not do. Related Articles: Meghan, the Vampire Baby: My Nursing Nightmare The Who, What and Why of Lactation Consultants Learn more about Valorie Delp  Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line. Relevantbaby tags User Comments  mommytotwo (526) 14 Aug 2006 09:05 AMThanks for this Valorie! I breastfed my first baby and had no problem with my milk. I had so much milk, I could pump and had enough milk saved and frozen for a month after I stopped breastfeeding him and went to the bottle. Unfortunately, with my second baby, my plans to breastfeed went out the window. I had a repeat c-section with him and ended up being rushed back to surgery, put under completely and having my bladder repaired in a three hour surgery after my c-section was complete. The dr had knicked my bladder during the c-section, but didn't see it until after I got to recovery. With the anesthesia from that surgery my milk had trouble coming in. No one mentioned this to me until my home visit from a nurse, who was also a lactation consultant. I had no idea that was a side-effect. She reassured me that my milk would fully come in, it would just take a lot longer. Unfortunately, I became quite ill from a resulting kidney infection (had to wear a catheter for 10 days after the surgery to help the bladder heal) and very high fever, my milk dried up even more and just never came back. I had an almost two year old to care for and a newborn, so I decided to just stop the stress of even trying to nurse and went straight to a bottle. I was heart broken, but my second son is just fine. He is a happy, healthy two year old now. Matter of fact, he was much healthier than his breastfed brother! Go figure! I am pleased that your blog shed some light on those parents that choose not to or just can't nurse. It is such a personal decision and no one should ever feel like a bad mommy just because nursing didn't work for them. Thanks, Kaye  Lisa P (24013) 14 Aug 2006 10:08 AMWhether it was because of my gastric bypass, lack of knowledge or some other reason, I just couldn't get nursing right. For those who can't get it right, you can always do what I did: express milk and combine it with a good quality formula to make up whatever amount you can't come up with. Every little bit will help your baby. Don't let yourself feel like a bad mother just because you aren't one of those Earth Mothers who can do their shopping, breast feed baby in a sling and talk on the phone at the same time. There is enough guilt involved in being a parent. Don't let the lack of milk break you!  Libby Pelham |
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