When Mom Doesn't Know Best

by Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger

This is the blog that I'm going to get myself in trouble with. I know that my own mother regularly reads my blogs. Maybe she'll skip this one. In fact, pardon me while I tell her to do so. . .

Mom, just skip over this one. . .there's no grand kids in it. . .I promise!

Okay, I have a secret for all you ladies who get bad advice from your moms and mother in laws about breastfeeding and other sundry child rearing tips: they don't know what they're talking about. Don't get me wrong. Our moms are great when it comes to babysitting, changing diapers and generally helping out, but they just can't take a crying baby and so they often come up with inventive and sometimes even unsafe strategies to cure what ails our babes.

Why They Just Don't Get It

You must remember that our moms grew up in a different generation. There was no one at their time going around telling them to breastfeed. Formula was considered hygienic and breast milk was kind of well. . .dirty and yucky. I know that when I was born, it was common for moms to be put to sleep instead of being awake to experience labor. In fact, I remember my mother in law telling me that that's how she birthed my sister in law (who is just a few years younger than we are).

I know I didn't spend a day in a car seat. No one my age did. I asked my mom once what they did and she said they just kept telling me to sit down. I cringe to think of what my own vehicle would look like if I had to get five kids to sit down! But that's why so many more people drive mini vans now. You can't fit four car seats into the big station wagon.

Times Change

The point is that we have infinitely more research than they did back then. That doesn't mean that your mother doesn't know anything. . .but that sometimes mom's advice isn't. . .shall we say current?

I am fortunate in that neither my mom or my mother in law even dare to give me breastfeeding advice. My mother in law tried once when she was surprised I was going to breastfeed the twins. My husband gave her a speech on why we should breastfeed them pointing out that I have to feed them anyways. . .why bother washing bottles?

All of this to say, if mom gives you advice that seems out of date, it probably is. Don't worry. Let her do her grandmotherly thing but in the end, it is you and your spouse that have to live with the decisions you make for your baby. Oh, and don't be too hard on the grandmothers either. . .afterall, they did raise you and your spouse and you guys made it this far. . .

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Learn more about Valorie Delp

Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line.

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