What Are the Five Tools of Attachment Parenting?

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

08 Jul 2009 06:11 AM

If you are interested in practicing attachment parenting with your baby, where do you start? Here are some basics.

I think that a lot of attachment parenting is instinctual. It can naturally occur as part of normal mothering or fathering. After my first child was born, I hadn't heard of attachment parenting. When I learned about it later, I found that I was already doing many of the things that would qualify me as an "attached" parent. Still, it is nice to get some information from the experts.

Dr. and Mrs. William Sears wrote about attachment parenting in their book, The Baby Book. They offer five different tools or concepts that make up successful attachment parenting. Let's take a look at these concepts. The topic headings are direct quotes from the book, The rest of the text is mine.

"1. Connect with Your Baby Early"

You want to avoid an early separation with your baby. I always chose a hospital that encouraged rooming in. We kept our babies with us at all times, with the exception of when a baby needed that first bath and first medical exam. While the baby was in the room with us, we held him or her as much as possible, taking turns as needed.

Bonding right away and continuing to strengthen that bond through the early weeks helps promote intuitive caregiving.

"2. Read and Respond to Your Baby's Cues"

Although we got a lot of advice, when our first was born, to let our baby "cry it out" and to "put him on a schedule right away" we resisted following it. Babies come to use knowing how to get our attention by crying, grabbing, smiling, clinging, eye contact, body language and cooing. While it took a bit to learn what all of that baby language meant, responding quickly let our baby know he was communicating well and helped him work with us to get his needs fulfilled.

There are three more tools to go. Check back again.

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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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