Using Compromise with a Toddler

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

15 Jul 2008 12:44 PM

There is a reason that they call it the terrible twos. Two-year-olds tend to want to assert their own independence and opinions, even if they don't quite make sense to us. A limited vocabulary also adds to their frustration because they can't always communicate what they want and may have trouble being understood.

While you may be surprised that this discipline technique works (notice that discipline means guidance; it does not mean punishment), compromise can be a very effective of dealing with some of the issues that we face with the terrible twos. It gives the child a sense of being in control, being understood and getting his own way.

So how do you compromise with a toddler? Can it be done effectively? Of course!

The first way to compromise is by choosing your battles. Determine what is the most important for you and then give in on smaller battles. You will have a better chance of compliance on the bigger things. Here is an example from my household that happened just yesterday. It was my son's second birthday, and he requested going out to one of his favorite restaurants. I keep matching outfits of the appropriate season together in his drawer, so it is easy for him to pick his own clothes. He chose a pair of pants that wound up being too big. He screamed when I tried to give him a different pair. No amount of coaxing, explanation or incentive would persuade him. So, I let him out on the big pants. which kept falling down. I compromised by bringing along a second pair, and my husband used a tie to get them to stay up. Later, I asked him if we could change pants, and he was happy to do it.

Later, I'll cover another way to compromise as well as examples when compromise is detrimental.

Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, technology in the Computing Blog, and creating a home in the Home Blog. Starting June 1st, don't miss her articles in the Baby Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.

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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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