Tricking a Spouse Into Parenthoodby Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger 25 Jun 2008 04:39 AM
Here is a scenario that happened to me a few years ago. One of my very good friends, let's call her Denise, decided that she really wanted a baby. She had gotten married less than a year before, and was in a happy marriage. She felt it was time to have a baby, but her spouse didn't agree. He definitely wanted to wait and wasn't even sure if he would ever be ready to be a parent. My friend's longing for a baby practically became an obsession. he purchased and consumed mass quantities of pregnancy and parenting books. She baby sat for young children as often as she could. She ignored any mention of financial strain or budget preparation and decided that she would probably stay home once she became pregnant. Now, here is the disturbing part that has to do with the title of this post. Denise, after failing to convince her husband that it was the right time to have a baby, decided that she would trick him. She planned to sabotage their method of birth control and then claim that the method must have failed. She was convinced that her husband would be okay with a baby once it arrived. Now to me, this is wrong on so many levels. For one, I don't think it is fair to force someone into becoming a parent. Parenting, as with marriage, should begin with trust. Was it fair to bring a child into this situation? My friend was playing with danger. What if her husband found out about her deception? What if he decided to leave the family? Should I have become involved in this situation by telling her spouse what she was up to or mind my own business? Before I tell you what ultimately happened, I would love to hear your opinion. As a friend, what would you have done in this situation? And what about the other side? Have you or anyone you know secretly planned for a baby? If so, how did it turn out? Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, technology in the Computing Blog, and creating a home in the Home Blog. Starting June 1st, don't miss her articles in the Baby Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here. Related Articles: Learn more about Mary Ann Romans  Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat. Relevantbaby tags User Comments jonesx6 (1606) 25 Jun 2008 08:09 AMWow! What a strange situation. I have no experience with a situation like this. I personally would not go to the spouse and tell him. I probably would speak to my friend that what was doing is wrong. Laura  deedee1231 (4030) 25 Jun 2008 08:53 AMI know someone who went so far as to have her tubal ligation reversed behind her boyfriend's back so she could have a baby with him, and she did this knowing that he was considering ending the relationship. I thought she was despicable to do such a thing and even more despicable to lie about it and say it was a surprise pregnancy. He found out about it when he accompanied her to an OB appt and the doctor asked, "Where did you get your tubal ligation reversal done?" in front of the boyfriend, but he already suspected it because of the $6000 charge on her credit card and a few other things that had been going on. I am just glad that I didn't know anything about what she was doing until it was done because I wouldn't want to be in the middle of a situation like that.  Kara |
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