Toddlers: Learning to Share the Stage

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

24 Oct 2006 10:30 AM

One thing the parent of a toddler knows is that their toddler wants to be center stage all the time. It can be difficult for them to share that spotlight with anyone else whether it's the telephone, another child, a repairman or a guest in the home. You may notice that whenever you get on the phone or someone comes to the house that you need to talk to, your toddler suddenly becomes louder and constant in his or her demands and chatter.

This is a particularly frustrating portion of toddlerhood and it's one that every single parent has gone through. It's important to recognize that this stage is important to your toddler's development and that it is communicating a need that they have to be seen and heard. It also communicates a certain resentment your toddler has for the competition.

Recognize That You Will Be Coping with this for Years

You cannot teach your toddler respect over night and you can't teach them patience and understanding overnight. It takes time and it takes faith. Remember, faith is a belief in the absence of evidence proof. So you have to have faith that with patience and time, your child will develop patience and tolerance of their own. You can help them along by:

• Demonstrating the same patience and respect for the time your child craves with you - this means not interrupting playtime with them for things that can wait or be done when they are napping
• Don't dismiss them when guests or repairmen arrive or the phone rings, sometimes you have to talk to them to yourself, but involve them in what is going on - you can even instruct them to color a page or get some play tools to help out - this keeps them active and involved
• Take a break from phone calls or guest conversation as needed to focus on your toddler to remind them that you are there and because you cannot realistically expect your toddler to entertain themselves for long periods of time without interaction from you

Despite how things go, you should always reward positive behavior - even small bits of it and always try to end on a positive note, even when a visit has been difficult or a phone call long - ask for one positive act from him or her and then reward it. Of course - if the entire time was miserable - don't applaud, but don't scold either. Just give it time and treat each time as the first time - that way you are not building your expectations up from previous events.

How do you keep your toddler from hogging the center stage?

Related Articles:

Socializing the Stay At Home Baby

Your Baby and Emotional & Social Milestones

The Inner Workings of Your Baby's Mind: Part I

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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Valorie Delp (49340) 24 Oct 2006 03:40 PM

Okay Heather!! What about twins?? I have resolved myself to just getting two stages! Great blog!