The Terrible Two's Times Two

by Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger

20 Jul 2007 06:48 AM

I don't care how strong willed your child is. . .you have not done the terrible two's until you've done it with two toddlers instead of one. . .

I mentioned earlier that my twins turned two in June. The time seems to have flown by. For sure neither one of them will make it into my book of records as my most difficult two year old. . .that distinguished honor will always be held by my oldest daughter who used to throw things in an attempt to win her way. (In case you didn't realize, throwing things did nothing to persuade myself or my husband to see her point of view!) However, there are two of them and boy, when they want to be ornery. . .they can be.

Yesterday, we went to the Botanical Gardens. My older two children have classes which leaves me gallivanting around the garden with my four year old and the twins in tow. We decided it would be fun to take the tram tour around the garden and so on we hopped. Note to self: a tram tour does not have the same calming effect that a car does. In addition, it includes open sides from which a twin can fall out of at any moment while the vehicle is moving.

The tram ride should have been fine but the girls hated it. If I had let them hang out of the side willy nilly it would've been fine. But being the safety conscious parent that I am--I rather insisted that they stay seated and they were unhappy. Now when you have one child that refuses to sit, you hold them or you hold them down. It's not that complicated. When you have two children that refuse to sit. . .you do some sort of awkward dance like motion trying to hold in each child while making sure that no one gets injured. I eventually ended up holding one between my legs on the floor and one in my arms. Screaming merrily along. . .

While I don't cherish these moments they are important and I don't view them as horrible either. I communicate volumes to my girls by how I handle their temper tantrums. It is important to teach toddlers that inappropriate behavior will not yield results. Their screaming will not get them what they want. But neither will my screaming. . .so I don't raise my voice. I may well be holding them down, but I was all the while telling them calmly, that they need to sit.

I think it's also important to realize that temper tantrums are not personal. They are exploring their independence and rightly so--this is the age for it. As frustrating as it was to have to hold both girls down. . .at the very end they were ready for play again. I was happy to join them. They learned that their disobedience and the ensuing temper tantrum was unacceptable so they moved on quickly. . .and I needed to too.

This is normal. Two year olds throw tantrums. When possible, I avoid them by making sure we have snacks, drinks, rest, etc. But it's not always avoidable. Being firm without making the situation worse is the trick to handling temper tantrums like a pro.

Learn more about Valorie Delp

Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line.

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