The Importance of "Daddy Time"

by Kimmama | More from this Blogger

17 Aug 2009 04:27 PM

For the first few months of my son's life, my husband had a hard time taking care of him. My son would cry a lot whenever my husband would hold him. More than likely it was because I was the one who took care of him 20 hours out of the day. Being the sole caregiver began to take it's tole on me and our household. I didn't have time to do anything until after my son's bedtime. You can only cut into your sleep so much before things start to fall apart. We finally made a decision that my son was just going to have to learn to like daddy. My husband agreed to watch him all by himself for an hour or two each night after work. The first week was really hard. The second week was much better. After a few weeks, I noticed my son would light up when my husband got home from work. "Daddy time" has become an important part of our day. It's my time to write my families blogs and get other things done, but more importantly, it's an opportunity for my husband and my son to bond.

Sometimes dads are little apprehensive about caring for their newborn children. Unfortunately, moms can make things worse by hovering around and telling dad how to do things. I'm a firm believer that the best way to learn how to parent is to be thrown into the deep end with both feet. Dads should figure out their own way of doing things. Children will adapt to how dad does things the same way they adapted to diapers and clothes instead of the womb. It can be hard for mom to hear her baby's cries as daddy fumbles around with a diaper or accidentally scares the baby during play, but ultimately it's best for the child to learn about different personalities and parenting styles. It's especially important for your children to form a strong bond with their father. The earlier dad plays an active role in baby's life, the better.

Learn more about Kimmama

Kim is a freelance writer and stay at home mom to her newborn, Micah. She has been married to her husband, Eric, since 2006.

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SarahPirolli (181) 19 Aug 2009 06:03 AM

I have been trying to encourage my husband to take on "Daddy time" but he has been so resistant! He gripes about how much "free time" he'll lose if he is put on baby duty... completely disregarding the fact that I don't get so-called free time. I love my husband, but it's a constant struggle for me to feel like he cares at all about raising our daughter. Most of the time he acts like it is such a chore to play with her. I really do try not to nag him or be critical of how he does things... but it does drive me crazy when his idea of "daddy time" is to sit her on the floor with some toys and then turn on the TV or stare at the computer. He tells me that he wants me to just tell him what to do, but honestly I'm so tired of feeling like I'm begging him to spend time with our daughter.

It's literally a weekly conversation where I try to explain to him that I'm feeling this way but things don't seem to change much. This morning, for example, he was supposed to be in charge of the baby after she ate... but once she was done, he was still in bed sleeping. I'm so tired of constantly thrusting our daughter at him, so I just took care of the morning routine myself. What else can I do?

Kimmama (405) 24 Aug 2009 04:43 PM

That's a tough question, Sarah! I think one thing that helped my husband was for us to play with our son together. That way he could watch the types of things I did to make Micah laugh and he would want to try it as well. Before that, he would really struggle with watching him like your husband does. The more our son learns how to play, the more my husband likes to play with him. They have really started to bond and now he goes to Micah first thing when he gets home. It's really sweet.