Stress in the Toddler Phase

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

04 Aug 2006 02:30 PM

Mothering is a limited time offer.

When it comes to being a mother of a toddler, stress is a given for you and your toddler. Your toddler is going through a huge amount of change. They are developing their independence and they are changing on a day-to-day basis. They are learning, they are exploring and redefining your job description as a 'parent'.

Learning Curve

As a parent, you are constantly learning on a curve and being graded on a curve. You just master a stage or behavior, your little one takes a hard left, hard right, u-turn or completely diagonal as they develop new skills, talents and ability to communicate.

Being a parent is a difficult enough job, but when you are coping with mixed messages and a constantly changing set of expectations - it can be down right impossible. First and foremost, parents - especially mothers - need to listen to their own heart about what it means to be a good mother. Because listening to everyone else just confuses the issue.

Your Mothering Style

Your mothering style was one thing when your baby was born. It will become subtly different through the transitions from stage to stage. One way you can answer the stress of the toddler stage is to address how your choices will affect your life and the life of your toddler in the real world.

Don't let your style of mothering or the decisions you make become a competition. What your sister does and how it works with her children is completely independent of the choices you make and what you do for your own. Some parents care a great deal about some things that their toddler does while others don't.

Stressing when your child walked versus when your sister's child walks can leave you struggling with issues of self-esteem, self-confidence and even pride - in yourself as a parent and your child as your child. It's important to treat every baby and toddler as the unique individual they are.

Me and My Baby

One of my nephews was walking at 9 months, my other nephew is walking now at 11 months, my daughter didn't really start walking until she was 18 months old. So if I were to compare all of them, I might find myself wanting. But every baby is different and every toddler is different. You can help yourself to never compare yourself to others and to let your mothering style be your mothering style.

How do you prevent yourself from comparing yourself to others?

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Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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