Nightweaning: Ways to Get More Rest

by Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger

19 Aug 2006 04:53 PM

Frequent nursing is definitely a sign of the high need baby. If you are one of those parents who thinks that you have it all figured out and "know" how to put kids to bed--I would politely suggest to you that you do not, nor have ever had, a high need baby. Babies who are high need during the day, who need to be near you, and who need to nurse all day long. . .are also high need babies at night.

If you can sleep through the nursing, and are comfortable with your co-sleeping arrangement, then it is fine to continue nursing at night--even into toddler hood. You will have to ignore Mrs. Jones next door who claims her child was sleeping through the night as early as 6 weeks, but you can rest assured that although you are meeting your baby's needs at night--he will eventually sleep through the night.

If on the other hand, you are so sleep deprived you are barely functioning the next day and your relationship with the other family members has complete deteriorated--there's a problem. If you are beginning to resent the all night buffet, you need to help your high need one change his ways.

Breastfeed More Often During the Day Busy babies and toddlers have so much to do that they forget to stop and nurse. However, at night, there you are and visions of the all night nursing buffet begin to illuminate your baby's dreams and your little one wants to make up for lost time. (This is very common when mothers go back to work.) By stopping to nurse more often during the day, breastfeeding may become less attractive at night.

Wear Your Baby or Toddler in a Sling During the Day Night time nursing, especially for high need babies, is like the safety of the bird's nest. You can think of independence as a process of letting go and then coming back. It has been observed that many times babies will increase nursing at night right before hitting a major developmental milestone such as crawling or walking. By increasing touch time during the day, you are communicating that the "nest" is still there and safe and you may decrease the need for touching at night.

Offer Other Means of Comforting There are other ways to soothe a baby or toddler back to sleep besides nursing. We have found rubbing to be equally as effective if the baby is not hungry or thirsty. Also, if you have been nursing your baby to sleep, now may be the time to stop that practice and lull him to sleep another way. Try wearing your baby to sleep in the sling after he has nursed.

Keep trying different things until something works. Keep your calm and remember that something will eventually work. Look for more tips in an upcoming blog. . .

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Extended Breastfeeding: Why You Should Nurse for A Couple of Years

Learn more about Valorie Delp

Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line.

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Brandie (1720) 19 Aug 2006 06:11 PM

My now baby is very high needs. I thought my first was high needs ... he makes her seem easy (or maybe she was easier because I know have a baby and 2 other kids and with her it was just her!). But we are dealing with this ... waking often at night, I joke he is allergic to the floor and thus cries when he is set down. It is so frustrating - and it's frustrating to hear I must have spoiled him. My second was sleeping through the night around 6 weeks, was content to be set down for long periods, etc, etc. I firmly believe some kids are born needing to be touched often - and that is what my son is! Anyway, nice to know I'm not alone. I do get break because every so often dh will take baby to the living and sleep there and give him bottles overnight so I can get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. And that, in my opinion, makes him the BEST husband ever! LOL!

Valorie Delp (49340) 19 Aug 2006 07:38 PM

You didn't spoil him. The idea that you can spoil a young baby by hugging, touching, cuddling, nursing, etc. frequently is just bologna in my opinion! Have you ever read anything by Dr. Sears? Or Dr. Jay Gordon. You may find some things helpful in Dr. Sears' fussy baby book. I really do think that people who think you can spoil a baby haven't had one that is high needs. Also, have you checked to see if your baby has reflux? He doesn't have to spit up a lot to have it but "being allergic to the floor" is often an indicator of reflux. My utmost sympathies to you! Hey--at least you don't have to get up early to take the kids to school--LOL! I had pajama day as much as I could get away with it last year!

Michele Cheplic (37349) 20 Aug 2006 09:32 PM

I was my child's human pacificer for almost a year. I breastfed exclusively--she refused to take a bottle or pacificer--for months, and months, and months...so neither of us slept through the night for months and months and months. And even when she finally slept through the night it happened maybe once a month. That went on for months too. I stopped talking about it after hearing my other moms at playgroup go on about how their kids were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, 4 months, etc. I am STILL sleep deprived and my kid is 2-years-old! I won't even tell you when she stopped breastfeeding, but I will attest that the back rubbing does work---only it didn't work for my child until she was nearly 2 :-) Did I mention how tired I am?

Valorie Delp (49340) 21 Aug 2006 04:53 AM

LOL--are we supposed to sleep? I thought I may have read in the fine print that in addition to chauffeur, counselor, head chef, hair stylist (specializing in gum removal), chief bather, etc. we were supposed to do it all without sleep! I totally relate!

Brandie (1720) 21 Aug 2006 07:50 AM

Valeria, have discussed acid reflux with doctor. When he was slightly over a month old, he landed in the hospital with respiratory infection. He had 2 more in less than a month and was almost back in hospital. At that point we started seeing an asthma doc and our regular doc with a whole host of issues - constant wheezing, elevated heart rate, O levels too low. So of course, came meds, more meds, and some more meds - it boiled down to two breathing a treatments a day once we got it under control. Summer has been better for his breathing - but with fall creeping up, I noticed wheezing again last night. I really think that is the root of the problem. Poor kid - so sick in such a short period ya know? Of course he wanted to be touched adn cuddled and loved! But I think I will look into that fussy baby book! Maybe it will have a few ideas I can use. Thanks for the tip!

Valorie Delp (49340) 21 Aug 2006 10:46 AM

I have a very good friend whose son was like that. He eventually outgrew it? Or they discovered the root cause--so it's under control now--but he's 7. It took a long time. Hugs and prayers for you during this time. Definitely check out the fussy baby book! Let me know how it turns out.