Inviting Siblings to Share in the New Baby

by Heather Long | More from this Blogger

01 Dec 2006 02:55 PM

Welcoming a new baby to your home and looking for ways to ease the transition for your older children. A year ago, my sister-in-law gave birth to her youngest son and my older nephew had just turned six. It was important for all of us to make him feel very much a part of the birth of this new baby and to encourage him to bond with his new little brother.

The desire to do this came from all the same reasons all families have - to make sure the older sibling does not feel neglected or excluded and at the same time, embracing the new member of the family to us and welcoming them to our family. Many older children are thrilled at the idea of having a younger brother or sister, but the reality of the situation can be overwhelming for them.

So here are some tips to help make it easier for them and to encourage their bonding with the new arrival:

• Children love to help and they really want to help Mom, so when the baby comes, let your older child help you by fetching diapers or joining you to push the stroller or even reading to the new baby - both my daughter and my nephew loved to sing to the new baby and they serenaded him often then and still do now a year later
• Coordinate their clothing, older kids like to be twins in their outfits and even if it's just a matter of coordinating their t-shirts or colors and let them help you pick out those outfits so that they get the pleasure of dressing their younger brother or sister
• Have a baby shower with the older sibling in mind, let them pick out a present for their brother or sister and let them make a list of all the things they want to show their brother or sister how to do
• Create a space that's just for the older sibling - whether it's a playroom or private bedroom, give them a space that's just for them where they can play and make noise even when the baby is sleeping - this can be a good pressure release that helps them avert resentment and a new baby in the house promotes enough change, it shouldn't require your older child to suddenly become someone else

What other ways can you encourage the involvement of your older child with the new baby?

Related Articles:

The Call for a Sibling

Planning for a New Baby

Babies Are Not Baby Dolls

Learn more about Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago.

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Eliza Ferree (725) 04 Dec 2006 08:40 AM

When my 3rd child was born I had the doctor actually hand my daughter (2nd child) a baby doll wrapped up in a hospital blanket, this way she felt like she was bringing home a baby too. I know this isn't what you were meaning but it is a nice gift idea. My daughter pretended to be pregnant the entire time with me so I had to end her pregnancy somehow.