From the Mouths of Babes: How You Get a Babyby Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger 29 Aug 2007 04:04 AM I could also entitle this blog: Why You Should be Careful What You Tell Older Siblings About the New Baby. . . In case you're wondering, I now have step by step instructions on how to get a baby. I have accompanying illustrations but I'm not going to post those because the crayon with which they were drawn, does not show up well on the scanner. But for any of you who may have been confused on the matter, my 8yo daughter has broken down having a baby into several simple steps. This morning she is teaching Laura, one of the two year old twins. Step 1: First you go out and get a husband. If you don't meet him in college, there are lots of husbands for you to take from the cheese section or watching sports. (I met my husband in college, and he happens to really love watching sports and he'll eat anything with cheese on it.) Step 2: Once you marry the husband, you have to wait for a long time. Some mommies and daddies like to play sports while waiting and some like to draw pictures. But find something to do because it takes awhile. Step 3: One day, you'll wake up and something will be kicking inside of you. That's how you know that you're going to have a baby. Step 4: When your tummy is really, really big and it looks like you have stuffed a giant pumpkin in there, you go to the hospital. Step 5: Once you're at the hospital, you have to wait several days. (The twins were born via a complicated c-section and it was a couple days before she could come to visit so she naturally assumed the babies weren't born yet.) While you're waiting for the baby to come out, it might be nice to get your nails done and do your hair. Lots of people will be coming to see the babies and you don't want to look funny when they arrive. Step 6: You can bring the baby home whenever you feel like it. Make sure that the older sisters and brothers don't torture the baby. That will make it cry. So there you have it folks--complete instructions that demystify the whole process. Related Articles: Tales from the Potty: Potty Mouths Friday Baby Funnies: Fun Advice for Babies Breastfeeding In Front of Older Children Why Enfamil Supports Breastfeeding Learn more about Valorie Delp  Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line. Relevantbaby tags User Comments  Tristi Pinkston (10839) 06 Sep 2007 11:59 PMIt makes perfect sense! I had never thought of adding cheese to the equation . . .  Pam Connell (2658) 29 Jan 2008 01:12 PMTales from the adoption blog: My son informed people that if you fell asleep on a long airplane, you would get a baby. Discuss this article
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