Dealing with a Screaming Toddler

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

22 Jun 2009 09:46 AM

Sometimes it seems that there is nothing worse than a screaming toddler, unless it is a screaming toddler in public. Here are some tips on how to deal with this situation in a loving manner and regain control of the situation.

The first piece of advice that I have is that if you are out in public when your toddler starts screaming, is to ignore everyone else around you. You will get many many looks, especially if you are in a crowded store or restaurant. Forget the stares, the sympathetic smiles and even the comments of outrage. Parents of young children will understand that you are not a bad parent for having a screaming child, and the childless will never understand anyway.

Focusing on everyone else also distracts you from giving attention to your child. By all means remove your child from disturbing others if you can, such as by leaving the store and by offering a quick apology on your way, but don't waste a lot of energy past that.

The second piece of advice I have is to not scream back. Your nerves are frazzled and you just naturally want to raise your voice, but it won't accomplish much. You'll either get into a contest of who can be louder, or your child will ignore you.

Next, try to understand why your child is screaming. There could be several reasons, and knowing where the behavior is coming from can go a long way in stopping it. Frustration is usually the most common reason for screaming: frustration in not getting his own way, wanting a toy or object, not wanting to leave the playground, not being able to express what he wants, being tired yet wanting to play, etc.

Sometimes screaming that comes from frustration can be calmed by a soothing voice and an acknowledgment of your toddler's feelings. Simply saying, "I bet you're angry that you can't have that toy," often works. It is surprising, but true. Get down at your child's level and try to express his feelings for him. This usually only works in the very beginning of the screaming session.

Check back again, when I talk about distraction, preparation and other screaming solvers.

You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!

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Learn more about Mary Ann Romans

Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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