Co-sleeping Makes Me Happy

by Nicki Bradley | More from this Blogger

03 Apr 2006 10:40 AM

This is a really silly title for a pretty mushy blog entry. Recently I asked the question, on a local parenting loop I moderate: "What aspect of your parenting style has had the most positive effect on your family?" Although I asked the question, I didn't immediately have an answer, myself.

After much contemplation, I realized that my answer is co-sleeping, the practice of sharing a "family bed" during a child's infancy to promote healthy attachment and to ease the stress of night waking and simplify breastfeeding. I've long been a supporter of co-sleeping although I've only recently expanded my reasons beyond those listed above. In our family, our babies share our bed until they are ready to transition to their own rooms, often in a series of small steps that don't feel like much of a transition at all to them. Usually around their first birthdays, they get their own bed in their own room and are free to use it whenever they want, from that point on.

Recently, my son made his first transition by moving himself onto a "nest" on the floor in our bedroom where he happily sleeps. He was ready, I was not. But like all good mamas, I stepped back and allowed him to take the steps he needed in his own time and in his own way. Like many aspects of motherhood, the word bittersweet applies.

It is through this recent transition that I have become aware of just how important co-sleeping has always been to my family. Beyond the "science", those dry and unimpassioned words used to describe the benefits of co-sleeping to my children and myself, I realized the true importance: it never fails!

I think discipline is very important. I try to be a firm but gentle disciplinarian. But I'm not perfect and some days I get grumpy, impatient, intolerant or frustrated. Some days I yell. Some days I have to apologize.

I think how I feed my family is important. I've breastfeed all my babies and allowed them to grow from my breast at their own individual pace. I make sure they only drink water while at home and we try not to shop for any junk food or processed foods at all. We eat whole wheat breads and pasta and brown rice. I've also fed them McDonalds more than once in a single day! I've given them soda at the movies and let them eat too much candy on Halloween night. I don't buy organic, I don't keep track of white sugar or dyes in my children's diet. I could do better. Much better.

I'm a thinking consumer. I think it's important to research and explore options before listening to any one person's opinion - even the opinion of our family doctor. I explore options, research both sides of every issue, and make an informed choice. I don't buy into media or marketing propaganda. But sometimes, I do buy into fear. I make choices based on pressure from friends or family instead of my initial instinct. I make decisions based on irrational fear, sometimes without time to take the decision back. I'm learning and growing.

But at the end of the day, even if I've yelled, fed my kids too much fast food and made other poor parenting choices, we always have the Family Bed. We still crawl into bed together, snuggle up, give kisses and hugs and drift off to sleep knowing that all is right in the world. It is all forgiven. It is in the past. Tomorrow is a new day. And in that moment, when my child's tiny hand pats softly against my check as he drifts asleep, when I look over and see the most angelic sight in the world - that of a sleeping child - I can forgive myself, I can be forgiven and I feel inspired to do better, be better, try harder tomorrow. Co-sleeping makes me happy.

Learn more about Nicki Bradley

I live in the suburbs of Detroit and I'm happily re-married with six children (3 his, 2 mine, 1 ours) ranging in age from 3.5 to 12.

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Shoshanna Grey (2785) 03 Apr 2006 07:32 PM

It is so great to see a positive article about cosleeping! So many people have bad things to say, but I think it is a really neat way to bond with your children.

WordsAplenty (4029) 03 Apr 2006 09:41 PM

Another co-sleeping family here! I think it's great for kids to feel safe and secure at night-- co-sleeping is one way of doing that.

Andrea M (2525) 09 Apr 2006 04:28 AM

I have a 3 yr old that is still in bed with us! we have tried to "transition" him out of our bed, but nothing has worked! I didn't mind it for the first year or so, but now, I am ready to have my bed back!

Lessly (57396) 26 Sep 2006 12:24 PM

Thanks for sharing "co-sleeping makes me happy". I belive that without co-sleeping I would be a wreck right now. I am a SAHM and my husband currently is away from 6am to 7pm. It makes life a little hard as I have both boys with me all day and by the end all I want to do is sleep. It's nice to know that others do the same thing to make their lives easier too.