Attachment Parenting: My View

Dr. Sears said that attachment parenting is natural. He went on to say that if a parent were on a desert island and had no parenting knowledge then attachment parenting would be the road that parent would naturally head down. I completely agree. Let me start off by saying that I did not practice attachment parenting to the letter. I will say that if I had a baby again, I would implement more attachment parenting into my parenting style. My expertise with attachment parenting extends to breastfeeding up to 15 months, co-sleeping here and there, using a sling, feeding on … Continue reading

Book Review: The Post-Adoption Blues

The Post-Adoption Blues, subtitled “Concerning the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption”, is written by a husband and wife team. Dr. John R. Thompson, MD, is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. His wife, Dr. Karen Foli, PhD., is a registered nurse and a medical writer who has written extensively about children with special needs. Together they are the parents of two sons by birth and one daughter by adoption. Their daughter arrived from India at the age of five months. Karen Foli experienced many emotions upon meeting her daughter. These included some emotions which she had never expected, such as guilt, confusion, … Continue reading

Book Review: Let’s Talk About Fostering and Adoption

Let’s Talk About Fostering and Adoption by Sarah Levete is part of the “Let’s Talk About” series from Stargazer books. Other titles include “Let’s Talk About….Racism, Learning Difficulties, Bullying, Drugs, Stepfamilies, Keeping Safe, Being an Immigrant” and more. The book begins with “What’s My Family Like?”, “Why is Someone Fostered?” and “What Will My Foster Family be Like?” It mentions reasons why children are referred for foster care and explains that foster families are chosen and trained to provide a safe place. The book talks about the feelings kids may experience about being placed in foster care and about moving … Continue reading

You’re Not My Real Mother!

I think most adopted kids will try to pull this line at some point. Adoptive parents must realize that, although at the moment it may be intended to hurt, it probably is not a reflection of a deep-seated belief. It’s simply one more thing kids can fling at you in the heat of the moment. In fact, some non-adopted kids have tried it too! Some adoptive parents report being devastated when they hear this from their beloved child. Another mother reported that she was surprised by how little upset she felt when her fourteen-year-old son said this. She was secure … Continue reading

Adopting an Older Child–Series Overview

When people hear about adoption their typical impression is that most adoptive parents either have newborns placed or adopt internationally. The majority of people consider the adoption of a child from Foster Care as an adoptive parent’s last choice. It’s just the general impression of society, probably due in part to the lack of funding there really is when it comes to children in the system. In addition, families who adopt older children may encounter negative remarks, or judgments from friends and family. Choosing to adopt an older child internationally or from the United States Foster Care System is generally … Continue reading

When There Is A Lack Of Normal Attachment.

It can be difficult to define what a lack of normal attachment might look like, most adoptive parents will tell you it is one of those things you just know when you see it. Once we learn enough about attachment adoptive parents usually, feel pretty good about their child’s attachment, or terrified about the implications there may be some kind of disorder. The lists below outline some of the psychological or behavioral problems that may be seen in a child who lacks normal attachment: Conclusion Development: A child may not show the normal level of anxiety after an aggressive or … Continue reading

Attachment Parenting-More Responding

In the last Blog, we discussed the fact that adoptive parents need to Plan on Responding to our child’s needs a bit more conscientiously especially during the first several months after becoming a member of the family. This entry lists some of the ways Adoptive parents might respond to the Arousal-Relaxation Cycle: Become in tune with how the child is feeling physically, pay attention and respond affectionately and attentively when they are sick. Respond quickly when they are hurt and do the whole “boo-boo” kiss routine even for minor injuries. Demonstrate compassion and let your child know that you don’t … Continue reading

Part 1 Attachment Parenting of Adopted Children

Children with attachment difficulties often have a very different view of life and what it means to be part of a family. Attachment disorders occur when a child doesn’t have a safe and secure opportunity to learn how to attach during the first three years of life. There is a lot of information about attachment disorders, and the symptoms. The purpose of this series will be about parenting for attachment with our children. Parenting for attachment is a positive way of parenting any child and regardless of the type of attachment disorder a baby, toddler or child may have parenting … Continue reading

Book Review: Rebuilding Attachments With Traumatized Children.

“Rebuilding Attachments with Traumatized Children: Healing from Losses, Violence, Abuse, and Neglect by: Dr. Richard Kagan This book was written for child and adolescent mental health professionals and trauma therapists. However, interested parents and caregivers may find the book helpful as well. Dr. Kagan has over 27 years of experience and clear compassion and love for children. This book highlights the requirement and possibilities of helping a child rebuild attachments and trust. The main focus of this book is to help children develop self-esteem and overcome difficult experiences in their lives. Readers are given an emotional opportunity to feel the … Continue reading

Side Effects of Attachment Disorders (Part 11) Decision-Making

A child who is dealing with an attachment disorder usually has a history of self-parenting. When children think that only their own conclusions are dependable, they stop viewing the advice and teaching of other people as valid or important. Children with attachment disorders may have decided that the only person they can depend on is himself or herself. No one is credible to the child and no one has anything important to offer a them–in his or her thinking. Some children with attachment disorders will decide to make all of their own decisions. Usually it turns out that their decision-making … Continue reading