Ask a Baby Blogger: Why Can't You Breastfeed a Baby on a Schedule?by Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger 12 Feb 2007 09:28 AM Question: I always hear about how you're supposed to breastfeed on demand but I have a problem with this. First of all, I feel like the baby needs to work on my schedule, not me being a slave to the baby. Second of all, I don't think it's healthy for babies to "snack" like that. Doesn't that just set them up for bad eating habits later? Thirdly, I think it spoils a baby to respond every single time they cry. And finally, if my baby is on a schedule won't he sleep through the night better? In responding, I have to wonder if you've ever read the book Baby Wise or it's Christian equivalent Preparation for Parenting. Several of the points that you mention are in these books. Many parents are tempted by promises of infants who sleep through the night. Many Christian parents read the books thinking that they are working their way towards a better behaved child. I don't want to launch into a book review--that's not my purpose here. But I do want to say that the breastfeeding advice contained in these books is just plain wrong. Would you go to see an oncologist for a pregnancy? Would you take your infant to a cardiologist instead of a pediatrician? Of course not! Neither should you take advice about breastfeeding from a pastor. An excellent Christian alternative, is the Christian Parenting and Child Care by Dr. Sears. I Don't Want to be a Slave to the Baby When we become parents, our lives change. There's no getting around it. Whether you like it or not, you are on baby call once your baby is born. Not responding doesn't teach him who is boss, it teaches him that those on whom he depends for care won't respond when he cries. If you ask my children who is in charge in our home they will decidedly say, "Daddy unless he's not home. Then mommy is in charge." They assume that we are the ultimate authority and rightly so. However, it is impossible to go about the day, plan errands, even plan vacation without considering their needs. We are a family and that's just how it operates. My suggestion is to change your thinking. By responding to a baby's needs, you are not a slave. You are teaching him that families care for their most dependent members. Snacking at the Breast Let me address the second part of this statement first. It is important to teach little kids healthy eating habits. I am personally of the persuasion that any time my kids come to me hungry they are offered a snack. Snacking is not unhealthy. What is unhealthy is snacking on potato chips, cookies, and other junk. When one of my older children comes for a snack they can have celery with peanut butter, a piece of fruit, baked oatmeal or something similar--even if it's right before dinner. If they "spoil" their dinner on celery sticks I'm certainly not going to complain. Also it's important to know that research does not show a correlation between breastfeeding and obesity. There is a correlation between formula feeding and obesity. However, I suspect that the real issue is not the breast or the bottle, or even scheduling vs. demand feeding but rather parents who both model unhealthy eating habits and allow their children to eat too much junk. In any case, you do not have to worry that "snacking" at the breast is going to ruin good eating habits. Why Babies "Snack" Another important issue to address is why babies snack. Breastfeeding not only provides their nutritive needs for the first year but it also provides for their need to suck. Babies instinctively need to suck. All babies are different, but I can almost assure you that if your baby is not allowed to suck at the breast, that need will be replaced with a bottle, pacifier, or thumb. What you choose to do regarding non-nutritive sucking is up to you, but all sucking at the breast has the result of building up your supply as well as comforting baby. In other words, it's not really a bad thing. The other reason babies 'snack' non-stop sometimes is that they are helping you make more milk to sustain their growth spurts. Most babies will triple their birth weight in the first year. That requires a lot of food. Think about how much you'd have to eat to go from 100 pounds to 300 pounds in a year! It is reasonable to assume that your milk supply must increase to meet the demand. The best and most effective way to increase your milk supply is by breastfeeding your baby. Because of the length of this question, I will address the other two parts of this question in a second blog! Look soon for my answer on spoiling babies by demand feeding and helping them sleep through the night. Related Articles: Practices that Promote Breastfeeding Should I Wake My Baby to Breastfeed? Learn more about Valorie Delp  Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line. Relevantbaby tags User Comments  Lisa P (24013) 12 Feb 2007 08:50 AMGood answer, Valorie! Although I wasn't able to nurse my son, I've always fed him on demand. If my child is hungry, you'd better just get out of the way because he is going to be fed. My son is nearly 2 1/2 now and continues to graze throughout the day as he becomes hungry. (Except for dinner which we eat as a family and even then, he is never forced to eat all the food placed before him.) I'm happy to say that my son is the most muscular little toddler I've ever seen in my life. He has smokin' little biceps and a little six-pack of abs that is quite impressive. What does he graze on during the day? Not chips and candy. He prefers berries, apples, oranges, grape tomatoes, string cheese and slices of pepperoni and ham. If your child is hungry, feed him! Being a parent means putting your child's needs first.  Valorie Delp (49340) 12 Feb 2007 09:14 AMThanks Lisa! I actually keep a veggie and fruit tray fully stocked and in the fridge. I've found that it helps me graze healthily too! My kids hate salad but you stick raw carrots and celery in front of them and watch out!  Julie Gentry (5915) 12 Feb 2007 09:46 AMI *did* feed my last three on a schedule. David slept through the night at two weeks, and the other two by six weeks. My demand-fed baby was 14 months old before she did. The schedule is the same one they use in the critical care nursery at the hospital. For US, it allowed us to plan our days, to be rested, and for me to be able to better care for my husband and the other children. I had no problems with leaking (I did with the first) nor milk supply. The kids are all healthy (both demand-fed and schedule-fed). It worked for us BEAUTIFULLY. Both methods can be successful. For us, scheduled feeding was FAR superior. For others, demand-feeding is. Valorie Delp (49340) 12 Feb 2007 10:03 AMJulie. . .I started to write a response to you. . .and then it got too long. I did think of you when I wrote this. Look for a blog soon on schedule feeding babies! (BTW--were your kids in the critical care nursery at all? And did you use the 2hour or 3 hour schedule? Also--did you do the Preparation for Parenting thing? Just curious!  Anna Glendenning (4234) 12 Feb 2007 10:06 AMI breastfed both ways... My oldest was on a schedule and my second was on Demand. I personally found On Demand to be horrible--I never knew when of if she should be hungry--how much to feed her or if there were other problems. It was terrible, and she was weaned at 7 months instead of the 1-year or slightly older mark I wanted to nurse for. With my son, the oldest, I knew that if it wasn't feeding time--he needed something else so I could supplement with Water--play or look for a different reason for his fussiness. With little sister I was up half the night-never knew what her problem was--and felt like a cow most of the time because I never knew if feeding was the problem. If I were to have a third baby I could breast feed I would choose to schedule the feeding times. Just because a baby is on a schedule doesn't mean mom can't use her intuition and supplement when it seems needed. Also I found feeding on a schedule didn't cause me as much PAIN or leaking. With the first baby I knew when it was time to eat--with number two I was always wondering and leaking all over town. My body was trained to Respond to her cries so even a diaper commercial with a baby crying would cause me issues... Then I wouldn't know if my baby was getting enough--or if I just leaked her lunch! Just my opinion--I breastfed when It was just starting to come back into popularity in 1983 and 1984 so there was little or no support and information... I just did what seemed to work. Julie Gentry (5915) 12 Feb 2007 10:08 AMGreat! Look forward to reading it. Yes, David started out in the Level 1 nursery. He didn't have any problems, but I did, so it was precautionary. Since he was already on the 3 hour schedule (can't imagine a 2!), we continued with it. We did read the PFP book, took what worked for us, and tossed the rest. Valorie Delp (49340) 12 Feb 2007 10:29 AMSupplementing with water is extremely dangerous and should never be done for breastfed babies or formula fed babies (unless they are constipated and your pedi says to try it). LOL--I realize as I write that though, there are a ton of moms who are a little older than I am that were told to go ahead and supplement with water and their kids all came out hunky dory! I was not a big fan of PFP but I liked the next book for older children. . Growing Kids God's Way. But I think you hit the nail on the head with any parenting book--you take what works and ditch the rest. Anna Glendenning (4234) 12 Feb 2007 12:32 PMValorie--Interesting how things change during the Years! When mine were born in the 80's it was NO Solids until over age 1-year and Absolutely supplement with Water.... In fact, before I left the hospital I threw a fit because I didn't want a bottle to touch my babies lips and the nurses demanded that we stay until I could show them I could give him water without using a bottle! Anyway, if Water is out now--forget my above remark. I will say, however I fed my kids H2O everyday and they have NEVER been sick at ALL--Perfect School attendance from K-Grad School with the exception of an accident... The closet thing to "sick" my 23 and 22 year old's have suffered was Chicken Pox and now they have a shot for that! But, even when my 2-breastfed babies had Chicken Pox it was not a big deal--they did it on winter break! In the 80"s water was like some sort of magic thing so I am sure that was why WE were advised to water our babies???? Valorie Delp (49340) 12 Feb 2007 12:44 PMOh yeah--my mom gave me water too! I'll have to ask my pedi why they used to recommend it. I suspect it was bc hey--what could be wrong with water? On top of that many more babies were formula fed when I was little and water does help with constipation! I know now the reason they don't is because it is non-nutritive. While nothing is 'wrong' with it per se, if your baby fills up on water he might not drink bm and then won't be getting the nutrients he needs.  Marily (836) 13 Feb 2007 10:19 PMDon't want to be too pushy here, but schedules can be a great thing for everybody. I have two boys, and have breastfed roughly on 2 1/2 to 3 hour schedules with both of them. With parenting there is a lot of guesswork, trying to figure out what your child needs. A schedule helps mom to understand what to expect. Of course you feed baby if he's hungry! That completely goes without saying. (Babywise emphasizes this point over and over again, by the way.) But you can also get baby use to eating full feedings, and you will know when to expect that baby will be hungry again. With scheduled feedings, feeding times are not carved in stone, there is just a normal flow to the day and everyone is happy because mom knows when to feed baby (and doesn't have to keep shoving her breast in baby's face whenever he cries.)  karabu (980) 13 Feb 2007 10:34 PMWhen I had my first, I'd taken all the classes the hopsital offered - baby care, brestfeeding - you name it. They all said feed when she's hungry. So I did. I remember when My mother in law asked me what schedule she was on I just stared at her because I honestly didn't know what she was talking about! lol. Although I ended up nursing about ever 1 1/2 hours because I had major supply issues, she started sleeping through the night before she was 4 mo. old (although I still got up to pump in the night - those darn supply issues again). I never felt inconvienced or like my schedule was imapred at all - probably because I expected it to be that way from my classes. We went out all the time - I just had my sling or a blanket, and found a quiet spot to nurse when it was time. Maybe expectations affect how well we precieve things are working? Valorie Delp (49340) 14 Feb 2007 03:23 AMMarily. . .in my mind a rigid schedule and following a normal flow of the day in my mind are two different things. I find that my babes have carved out a schedule and you're right. . .eventually you know what babies need bc it's about that time. The problem is when it's held to rigidly it does not allow for baby to 'demand' more milk. I hope you're able to read the other two blogs in this series!  Sara Denomme (1063) 15 Feb 2007 04:04 PMIME, babies create their own schedules and I have nothing to do with it. That's the beauty of BFing anyway - it's simple and easy. I can tell when my baby is hungry as opposed to XYZ, so there's no gueeswork involved anyway. I really can't tell how a schedule is worth the effort to implement, when babies tend to create their own? Valorie Delp (49340) 15 Feb 2007 05:46 PMSara I agree with you. . .mostly. I've outlined a few circumstances that I would deem to be exceptions in the other blog in this series. I can also tell you that with the twins it was well worth the effort to work on a schedule. . .although we were not rigid about it. Community Tags attachment parenting, breastfeeding, demand feeding, schedule feeding Discuss this article
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